I washed the zombie make-up off my face. Hard day filming. See, I heard about the "horde of zombies" needed for a movie, but I didn't seriously consider it until my friends got me out of bed to announce, "They need more zombies." I had to contribute my talents. So I minimally got ready (after all, the flyer called for us to appear "disheveled"), and we were off.

We arrived at the cemetary. Nice sunny field of graves. I met the dudes making the film and hung out while folks got their make-up done. Then it was my turn. My face basically ended up looking like a huge bruise. What made me different from the other zombies was the gash they glued to my forehead. Like someone got a hammer to my brain.

The first scene we shot was my friends and me rising from our graves. I basically used my tombstone to pull myself up, grasping the angel on the top for dramatic effect, and wandered aimlessly and zombie-like. The scene was deemed "top-notch," so it musta been good.

Boy, did people make some zombie jokes! Saying we were making a documentary: "This is a rare shot of a zombie swimming upstream to breed." Going to piss in the woods: "I'm going to the little zombie's room." We were standing in a circle, and one dude starts off a story about this stalker guy he knew. "I mean, this guy was a freak!" We say, "Right, and you're standing around in zombie make-up making a movie." Ha! They had a Cartman cardboard cut-out randomly set in the background among the graves, and someone thought we should take a bite out of him; better yet, we should get a cut-out of McGruff the Crime-Fighting Dog and instead of "taking a bite out of crime," well, you can figure out the rest. This crazy dude wearing a grease-stained, frazzled wife-beater and a flower behind the ear: "Look, it's White Trash Zombie Hawaiian Barbie!" Better yet: "White Zombie trash." And, you know, basic flesh-eating, limping, moaning jokes. As cheesy as they may seem, the jokes never got old.

The "rising" scenes were all pretty creative. One dude limped out of a sewer pipe. Another walked into a tree. The crazy dude tripped over a gravemarker. Then we attacked a guy, and of course, we shot the musical number, complete with choreographed dance moves (as choreographed as zombies can be) and solo shots of each zombie gettin' down. The movie is black-and-white, so for the close-ups, we filled our mouths with chocolate syrup to make it look like blood. It covered my teeth and dribbled down my chin while I did my moves that I stole from Jimmy Stewart. Oh, we danced to "Jungle Boogie." We started on a chase scene, and tomorrow we get to eat someone. I want to pull off my forehead wound and eat it. Zombie cannabalism.

It's a student film, and that's cool because it's just a group of crazy college kids having fun. I might not ever see the finished product, but maybe I will. I hope I will. I'd hate to miss the part where I eat saucy porkchops to make it look like I'm eating human flesh. Plus they're adding a Nazi zombie later on.

Who wants to miss the Nazi zombie?