It turns out that that "Wallaby" is an acronym for something having to do with tire recycling. So I guess I better write it "WALLABY." Either way, it has nothing to do with bush babies.

Excuse me, tyre recycling. Oh, England!

Leah and I should write a book a la Jeff Foxworthy: "You know you're a militant heterosexual boy if..."

• Rather than having the giraffe and rhino talk to each other and interact, your idea of playing with animal crackers involves biting off their heads and hearing them scream.
• You reluctantly let your girlfriend paint your nails, but they must be manly colors such as silver. Also, you refuse to leave the house until she hands over the nail polish remover.
• Your pattern of blinking has been permanently altered because of the video game you regularly play that involves cars driving so fast that to blink would mean instant death in the cyberworld.

• You really like boobies.