I sure am cussing a lot lately. No, it's not even cussing, it's just "fuck." I really like saying "fuck" and variants thereof. "Fuck my cock!" I don't say that, though I may start. I heard it on "Wet Hot American Summer," which friends say is perhaps the funniest movie ever, and I agree with them because it's true. So fuck my cock!

I love those moments where my pet and I really bond. Like this morning when I went in the washroom and saw that Scoop had a rat. Yeah I ran and got my camera. I took some shots of Scoop and rat in mid-air. Cats are so cool when they got mice. They play with the dead sack of guts for like half an hour. It's really cute. Tossing it in the air, slapping it around, acting all like, hey, you're already dead and I can eat you, so I'm gonna pretend I don't care and just fuck around with you. But I'll eat you later. Unfortunately, Jesús came around and stole Scoop's rat. So maybe the bad-ass cat attitude wasn't working for him. He's young, anyhow. Puh, he comes meowing to me like I'm gonna do something about it. I'm like, dude, you shoulda defended your rightful property. Then I watched Jesús chomp down the rat. Crunch, crunch. Dogs eat much more of the rat than cats. Cats tend to leave the tail and intestines, although in a previous entry I said I liked to watch cats eat mouse intestines. Well, I lied. Lies, lies!

Did I ever tell you about that dream I had when my cat Ambrosia was performing oral sex acts on Jesús?

I feel that I have much to contribute to the world of feline photography. Sure, there are many people in that field making calendars and such, but I seriously think that I need to start a whole new genre of sick cat pictures. I already got some of mating cats and of a kitty with a dead bunny on Easter Sunday. And a strange shot of my cat skull. Plus, you know, just weird ones that aren't necessarily sick, like sweet Chevelle roaring with red eyes and Ambrosia reincarnated as a tomato plant. And c'mon, nice ones too, like Mephis by the pond. I could gather a cult following, I'm sure. I know all of you would buy my books. Although, none of you have requested copies of my cat porn pics. Fuckers, with your "common decency."

One last thing, totally unrelated to cat smut but something that needs to be expressed without sounding mushy and without divulging more information than a lady cares to about her personal affairs:

[smile]

And may I add:

Ha!

Fuckers. Except for you.